"I saw you today. Only fat. It was weird. There's a fat you out there"

So while I was out shopping today (note to self*: when you are dressed like Bill Belichek**, the girls at the mall who are paid to try to lure you into stores don't even talk to you) I saw one of my friends from Houston. Only with an extra 60 pounds.

I quickly thought, "I'm going to email [friend], and tell her that I saw the fat version of her." And then I realized that this was probably not a good idea. Let's envision this conversation:

Me: So I swore I saw you for a second today.
Her: Yeah?
Me: Yeah, but then I realized it wasn't you.
Her: Why?
Me: She looked exactly like you, only with 50 more pounds.
Her: What's that supposed to mean?

So yeah, I didn't think this conversation would turn out well. That's probably not even something anyone else has to think about. Obviously it wouldn't work out well. Donk.

The funny thing is that the friend in question is probably one of the best looking girls I've ever met. Still, I'm pretty sure she'd be annoyed.






* What is Norm MacDonald doing these days?